If you didn’t watch “Dancing with the Stars” Monday night, you might need a little primer.
For starters, know that “Shark Tank” investor Barbara Corcoran is probably going to be the first to go home. In addition to delivering a halting salsa, she came off as a bit of a cougar and, as Charo demonstrated last year, that guise never works.
Also vulnerable: Drew Scott, one of the “Property Brothers” who has plenty of charisma but two left feet. He has an audience of sorts, so he could last longer (or improve), but right now he’s, as head judge Len Goodman calls him, “a fixer-upper.”
Debbie Gibson (or, as Bruno Tonioli mistakenly called her, “Debbie Allen”), has already started whining. She’s playing the Nancy Kerrigan card and that doesn’t work, either. The ‘80s pop star says Lyme disease has been a hindrance. But that shouldn’t enter in in Week One.
Sasha Pieterse, who apparently starred on “Pretty Little Liars,” boasted about a dancing background. She got an 18, but she wasn’t all that and, considering the show is no longer on the air, likely to have a thin base.
The leaders? Put Broadway star Jordan Fisher at the top of the list. He wowed with a tango and has the chops to keep going. Lindsey Stirling (who?), a YouTube violinist, was good, too, and has Mark Ballas as her partner. But YouTube can get you only so far. Vanessa Lachey was a standout as well (she’s with Maks Chmerkovskiy, which bodes well) and has a challenge of sorts with husband Nick. He’s on the show, too, and he’s paired with Maks’ wife, Peta Murgatroyd. You can see that competition can’t peter out in the first weeks, so they’re in for at least five weeks.
Also likely to hang around: Frankie Muniz (the kid from “Malcolm in the Middle”); WWE Star Nikki Bella (who’s engaged to John Cena, who has to make at least one appearance) and Victoria Arlen, an ESPN host who doesn’t have feeling in her legs. She got a 19 on Monday and clearly has the compassion vote (sorry, Debbie). If she continues to improve (and she has Val Chmerkovskiy as her partner, so why not?), expect a Final Three finish.
That leaves NBA star Derek Fisher and NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens. They’ll need to make some big moves to avoid “Dancing’s” shark tank.
It’s early. But our money is on Jordan Fisher, Victoria Arlen and Vanessa Lachey to be the ones to beat.