I loved Halloween as a kid and I somehow love it even more as an adult, which is probably because I can afford to actually have good costumes now unlike then among other reasons.
Also, I'm not exaggerating when I say my costumes sucked as a kid. Seriously, one year, my aunts took a dozen of my cousins and I out trick-or-treating and none of us had proper costumes.
Instead, we wore the clothes on our back and they applied flour and lipstick to our faces and told us that we were clowns and we stuck with that story throughout the night.
Twenty-something years later, I’m still not over that mess but I did take a home a lot of candy since we always went to the “good neighborhoods” to do our trick-or-treating.
Having one night a year where you can get knock on people’s doors and score free pieces of candy is brilliant, I must say!
The only downside to such a day is when you got pieces of candy that weren’t that great.
So, here are my five least favorite Halloween treats:
5. Anything with coconut:
The only thing good about coconuts is hollowing them out to host cocktails and the unlimited amount of uses you can find from coconut oil.
Other than that, I could care less about coconuts. This is why it perplexes me that someone thought it was a good idea to try and ruin perfectly good chocolate by adding coconut to the mix.
Both Almond Joy and Mounds should be banned.
4. Anything with mint
Generally, I like mint and an Andes chocolate mint at a restaurant after a good meal is like an icy reward.
However, when it comes to Halloween treats, handing out candy with mint is like giving a kid socks for Christmas.
With all due respect to Peppermint Pattys and Junior Mints, you guys don’t belong in the bags of trick-or-treaters. These candies are acquired taste that is most closely connected with getting old.
Think about it, 90 percent of the time you've received a mint-flavored candy, the person who gave it to you was more than likely your elder by at least a decade.
Sorry Peppermint Pattys and Junior Mints for any perceived disrespect. If it helps, you've earned your place in pop culture history via "Peanuts and "Seinfeld," respectively, so its OK if you're not suited for Halloween.
3. Black licorice
Have you ever chewed on the end of a ballpoint pen as a kid — or an adult; no judgment here — and accidentally bit the pen so hard that is starts leaking and your mouth fills with disgusting ink?
That’s what black licorice tastes like.
I don’t care whether it’s Red Vines or Twizzlers, if you plan on giving out licorice for Halloween just make sure it’s not the disgusting ink-flavored variety.
2. Dots, Jujyfruits and Jujubes
This one isn’t limited to Dots, Jujyfruits and Jujubes but rather any gummy candy that has a nasty habit of acting as a teeth-rotting dental adhesive.
Seriously, who takes pleasure in eating these things? These types of candies bring shame to the gummy name that gummy bears/worms/whatever delicious soft gummy candy have worked so hard to uplift.
I still have flashbacks of my mouth feeling like it has been wired shut trying to eat these as a kid (I’ll talk trash about them but I’m not throwing out free candy no matter how bad it is.)
1. Candy Corn
OK I lied. If you give me candy corn I’m putting it exactly where it belongs: the trash.
Candy corn has the taste and consistency of molded and slightly hardened human ear wax (don’t judge my life experiences, bro).
I’ve talked to one person who was adamant about how much she loved candy corn and we felt out of contact shortly after. So, if we are cool and you like candy corn, just don’t tell me about it.