April 1 means different things to different people.
First of all, it was on this date that Samuel Morey patented the internal combustion engine (1826); Apple, Inc. was formed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak (1976); and the Bosnian War began (1992). No joke!
Yet April 1 is also the day in which such illustrious luminaries as "Britain's Got Talent" songstress Susan Boyle (1961); "Girls Gone Wild" auteur Joe Francis (1973); and "Jon and Kate Plus 8" serial progenitor Jon Gosselin were born.
But mostly, April 1 is known for being the day when immature people all over the world try to inflict mental torture and embarrassment on the weaker of the species.
In other words, April Fools' Day is one of our favorite days of the entire freakin' year!
With that in mind, we have come up with a list of primo pranks in which to punk the people in the news.
Rush Limbaugh/Bill Maher: These "supersized" political yakkers have long had the reputation of suffering from diarrhea of the mouth. Let's seek a cure for "El Rushbo" and Mr. Maher. We say Preparation H inside a bottle of mouthwash might do the trick.
Mitt Romney: After an aide described perpetual flip-flopper Mitt Romney's campaign as being "almost like an Etch A Sketch." You can kinda shake it up and restart it all over again," might we suggest gifting the Republican Presidential candidate with an Etch A Sketch of his very own.
Pauly D: With "The Pauly D Project" set to premiere on MTV Thursday and a burgeoning music career -- 2010's "(It's Time To) Beat Dat Beat" was named as one of AOL Radio's "100 Worst Songs Ever," after all -- "Jersey Shore"'s Pauly D (aka Paul DelVecchio) seems to be on somewhat of a greasy roll. Let's put an end to that forward career trajectory with a once-in-a-lifetime musical collaboration between the "Joisey DJ" and "Real Housewives" Camille Grammer and "The Millionaire Matchmaker" Patti Stanger.
Taylor Kitsch: Nobody loved "Friday Night Lights" more than we did and Taylor Kitsch's Tim Riggins still has a place in our pigskin-lovin' hearts. But "John Carter," dude, really! For having us endure what was essentially a rip-off of "Avatar," might we suggest a bad case of April Fools' Day "pec rot."
Madonna: It's hard for straight men to express their love for the "Material Girl" but some of us still remember the seductive pull of "Live to Tell," "La Isla Bonita" and "Crazy for You." Alas, with her 12th studio album, "MDNA," hitting the airwaves with something as pallid as "Give Me All Your Luvin,"' we may be forced to disclose Madge's real age for April Fools' Day. The chick's 53, so deal with it!