If you’re a corn-fed football fan living in Iowa, then you know all about the rivalry between the University of Iowa and Iowa State University.
It’s feud that’s lasted more than 100 years. Since 1894, the Iowa Hawkeyes and the Iowa State Cyclones have been duking it out on each other’s home turf — minus that weird break between 1934 and 1977.
Watching the broadcasted battle for the Cy-Hawk Trophy is practically an Iowa tradition at this point and has been a topic of contention between football fans. Discovering a person’s college football team allegiance is about as dangerous as asking someone if they’re a Republican or a Democrat -- it’s certainly something you don’t want to bring up at a dinner party or while you’re on a date at a fancy restaurant.
These days, the bitter trash talk between Iowa and Iowa State fans mostly occurs on social media. Between all the memes and the hilariously lengthy Facebook posts regarding each team’s roster or coaching staff, we can hardly wait for the much-anticipated rivalry game -- that way everyone can shut up.
We’re no sports experts (or any kind of experts for that matter) but we thought we’d go ahead and make some predictions as to what might happen after the big game Saturday (Sept. 9) at Jack Trice Stadium in Ames, Iowa.
Here’s what we’ve come up with:
SOCIAL MEDIA STORM
If the team you rooted for lost, your best bet is to stay away from any kind of social media. Your “friends” (you know, the ones that are cool even though they root against your team in the Cy-Hawk game) are going to rub it in your face if your team loses. Granted, they probably don’t mean anything by it. And hell, you may have done the same thing. But for the sake of your sanity, just avoided Facebook and Twitter for about a week.
While maybe not the most common of occurrences, victory parties certainly happen. If your team wins, just hope that your favorite sports bar or gathering place isn’t overrun with fans of the winning team. Your best bet? Hunker down in a designated Iowa or Iowa State bar. Your sorrow will be met with understanding and possibly a shot or two from a fellow fan.
We love watching the game at Cy-Hawk parties… except when it’s a one-sided loss for our team. If the scoreboard is anything like last year’s Iowa 42-3 victory or the 23-3 Iowa State victory in 2005, then you can best bet your host might turn off the TV. That way, we can pretend it never happened. Nope.
MORE THAN SECOND HELPINGS
At-home football parties are the best, and that’s partly because of all the food being made. Whether it’s homemade chili or cheesy potato skins, there’s always something to indulge in. No matter who wins, you can probably expect your guests to start scrounging last minute eats. If you are one of those guests, we suggest you sneak in your own Tupperware to nab your final helpings. Wait until everyone is distracted by a touchdown before you make your move. Trust us. We know from experience.
We know we said to wait a week for the after-game trash talk to subside, but the truth is people are going to carry this win the entire year. The winning fans will look for any chance to brag. It doesn’t matter if it’s your birthday or Christmas, they’ll find a way to rub it in. We offer two methods of dealing with these people. Either mentally prepare yourself and endure the attacks (eventually, they’ll stop), or devote your free time and nitpick every little aspect about their team. Fire back with your knowledge of their team’s poor stats and jump at any chance you get when their team loses a game. It’s only fair.