5. Bad dancing: Alex Pettyfer can’t dance. And that old man in the back of all the group numbers? He’s even worse. The only one who can truly dance is Channing Tatum. Not even a contest here, Tatum’s moves should go down in history with the likes of John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever” and Patrick Swayze in “Dirty Dancing” as some of the best straight male dancing ever caught on film. And while Tatum gets to show off his moves in two long solos, the rest of the guy’s solos are only shown in snippets. Too bad. And sorry Matthew McConaughey, you may have a six-pack but your dancing days are far behind you.

4. Boobs: We thought it was a male stripper movie. Sorry.

3: To be hassled by all the folks in the lobby who didn’t dress up to go see the movie: Sometimes girls just want to have fun.

2. Serious commentary on the state of the American economy: Are we to actually believe that male strippers understand and even use terms like “commodities” and “interest rates” in their everyday lexicon? As the film is set in Florida there is a lot of talk of bank’s infallibility and not being able to get loans, blah, blah, blah. Call us when Channing Tatum is back on stage.

1. A ubiquitous ending: Sure it’s directed by Steven Soderberg, so he wants his film to come off slightly artsy and all, but he was able to wrap a pretty package with his “Ocean’s” series, so why not this one? We all just wanted a happy Disney-type ending, not a “well, this is how it is in life, tough” sort of lesson learned.