Here’s something that will make you rethink that trip to Europe: a catalog detailing everything you need to make your trip more enjoyable.
I started paging through it and, immediately, got the impression foreign countries are filled with folks who just want to steal your identity as well as your credit cards.
In addition to belts and socks that hold your money, the publication offers RFID-blocking bags. What, you say, is RFID? It’s some radio-frequency gimmick thieves use to steal your identity, just by scanning the chips in your credit cards. So, apparently, you need wallets, bags, clothes and luggage that can block those cyber thieves.
If you’re really cagey, you’re encouraged to put your money in special underwear that contains RFID pockets (but I’d hold back on putting change there).
The catalog also touts “cut-proof” stainless steel straps on its bags, so those pesky thieves can’t sneak up on you and quickly snip the camera case out from under your arms.
People are also reading…
Then, because you probably tote a lot of pills, the catalog sells a jumbo organizer that enables you to divide your medication into daily pouches (for daytime and nighttime use) that help keep everything straight. If that’s not enough, there are sticks that can alleviate tooth pain, spray for bed bugs, sheets to use when washing your hotel room’s sheets, nasal spray in the air and on the ground (don’t ask) and “below the belt” wipes, just in case all that money you’ve stashed starts sweating.
Little pill-sized pellets can also be added to the kit, should you run into a place that doesn’t have washcloths. Apparently, you just drop them in water and they turn into full-sized ones.
Want more? There are lines to dry your clothes, parkas that double as neck pillows, “fast-drying” underwear (so you don’t have to pack more than two days’ worth), collapsible cups, bedroom slippers, hand warmers, toothbrush sanitizers, emergency ID bracelets and a flickering “Fake TV” that will make those thieves think you’re in your room when you’re actually out spending money they weren’t able to steal.
The catalog has a range of products to make the flight enjoyable, too. There are little stools to put your feet on (so you don’t get blood clots), cushions to make the seat softer, blankets that actually cover you, foot shields that you can put on your socks so you don’t pick up germs from the dirty cabin floor and a bag that doubles as a washing machine, if you decide you want to do a load while you’re flying.
Lest thieves lurk on board, there are also RFID bags that could protect your valuables while you nap (wearing an eye mask that relaxes your eyes).
What, we ask, does this teach us?
Either people go to a lot of trouble just to endure a two-hour flight or they’re traveling to some fairly sketchy places.
Usually, I’m just grateful the flight attendant splashed two ounces of soft drink over five extra-large ice cubes before the long line to the restroom begins.
