PARTING SHOT: Grandmas used to be...

They loved string, too, and sometimes had dispensers just to hold it. Brown paper bags were useful because they could be pressed into service for mailing packages (back in the day when we tied them up with string).

Grandmas always had cookies in cookie jars, coffee in coffee pots and sugar in cubes.

They kept a ton of boxes – just in case – and weren’t afraid to serve as the family’s official archivist should someone need a blurry picture of a stray relative.

Candy was a given. Ask grandma if she had candy and she’d send you on some scavenger hunt that ended in a bowl in the cupboard above the refrigerator. (Yes, it required standing on the chair, but she didn’t mind.)

Grandmas also insisted you use a napkin for everything. You want a cookie? Be sure you have a napkin. If you were sitting down for dinner, it might even be a cloth one.

Grandmas insisted on prayers and thrived on words like “please” and “thank you.”

Grandmas wore “grandma” shoes and didn’t really consider pants unless they were doing manual labor. When they were headed out of the house, they dressed up. Even if they were going to the grocery store.

Grandmas had a shelf full of knickknacks they may or may not have liked. They were gifts from relatives who weren’t quite sure what to get them for birthdays, Christmas or Mother’s Day.

Precious Moments. Snow Villages. Cups and saucers. Birds. Salt and pepper shakers. These were grandma treasures.

Grandmas always had crosses, “Praying Hands,” The Lord’s Prayer done in some fancy font and pictures of Jesus. He may not have been a relative, but he had a prominent place in the house – just like high school graduation pictures of their children.

Grandmas spoke in “grandma language,” using words and phrases that were unique to them. They sang or hummed, too, and could probably perform a medley of hymns if you just asked.

Grandmas smelled like perfume, always had something good in the refrigerator and ruled the kitchen. If grandpas tried to make suggestions, they were promptly told what they could do with them.

Grandmas were more accepting than parents. If you had gotten a little heavier since the last time they saw you, they said you looked “healthy.” They also didn’t set curfews, judge your friends or nag you about homework. They thought you were great.

Grandmas didn’t swear, either, and they weren’t above slipping you a little money “to buy something for yourself.”

If you had done something in school – a play, for example – grandmas would want to hear your part and, often, they cheered better than anyone in the front row. They kept newspaper clippings of your accomplishments and weren’t afraid to show them to anyone who visited.

Best of all, grandmas loved hugs. They dispensed them freely and weren’t afraid to accept them unconditionally.

Grandmas used to be a lot of things. But, most of all, they were the essence of love.

I hope that hasn’t changed.